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Albatross

Friday, June 8, 2007

I appreciate that this may sound a little strange, but when I started the latest row on Mama's Little Mistake, the yarn didn't feel quite right. I double checked the label to confirm that it was, in fact, the right type of yarn. It was. I compared it to the yarn for the other stripes and it is definitely less... full (for lack of a better word). Slightly thinner, less elastic… just not quite the same. Last night I convinced myself to try a few more rows in it, to get a better sense of whether something was actually wrong or if I was just being weird. I'm still not sure. Has this ever happened to you?

In not-at-all-related news, I think that my "no scarf left behind" campaign is having a positive affect on other aspects of my life. I just re-started a biography of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry that I put down about two years ago, when grad school kicked into high gear. I should explain that, as a rule, I never put down a book without finishing it. It's something compulsive in my nature. I can walk out on movies that I'm not enjoying. I can even walk out on theatre. (As someone involved in the theatre, I acknowledge that this is a very bad thing.) But it is near impossible for me to put down even the most absurd or mundane book once I read the first page. So Saint-Exupéry: A Biography, by Stacy Schiff, (which is neither absurd nor mundane) is kind of my albatross. For the last two years, while scanning through my bookshelf for Miller or Ibsen, I would encounter it and be hit with the full weight what the full-time school/ full-time work combo had done to my life. Very little leisure reading, very little knitting, very little time for my family, friends, etc. And even though I finished with school in December, I still hesitated to pick up the book. It had become too... heavy, too intrinsically linked with a time in my life when I was too exhausted to know that I was exhausted.

So I'm not quite sure why I strolled over to my bookshelf and picked it up so easily, so lightly, the morning after I started this blog. Maybe because it's spring. Maybe because the sun is shinning. Or maybe it's because my unfinished objects are leading the way.

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